Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Day Eight: Sometimes You Just Have To Walk Away

Early the next day Holly called, she was in tears, I guessed it was due to having another argument with her parents. I was right, but this time I was involved, Holly was pregnant and her parents were extremely mad at her. I agreed to visiting her later, not because I cared, but because I had realised earlier that my house was a bit bare still and could do with some new items.
In the late afternoon of that day, I visited Central Park to scout for some lovely ladies. Turned out I was in luck, shorty after I arrived a woman turned up. She seemed to be pretty bored so me being me decided to change that for her. I introduced myself to her and within minutes she was agreeing to come round mine for somewhere more quiet to 'talk'.
She was swooning all over me, she was most definately the easiest woman I had come across to charm in this town so far. It was infact her who initiated all the making out on the bed stuff. I was surprised as to how well my trip to the park had turned out!
In the evening I dropped by Holly's house to 'see how she was doing'. She was pleased to see me and I had to feign being pleasant and all charming for quite some time before she left me alone in the room.
As soon as she visited the bathroom, I quickly swiped some stuff and casually left without saying goodbye. This woman seemed to have way to much baggage, I didn't need or want any of that. So I left her there hoping never to have to see her again.

Friday, 28 August 2009

Day Seven: The 'Bundle of Joy' Arrives

I was awoken by my phone ringing, I answered it to hear a woman sobbing down the other end. Turns out it was Holly who I met yesterday, she had had another argument with her parents and wanted to know if I was free. Of course I was, I knew just the way to cheer her up. I invited her over and within minutes she was at my door, I greeted her with an amorous hug and invited her inside.
I took her straight upstairs and set about making her feel better. I heard no complaints, in fact I believe she rather enjoyed herself. She hadn't had that good a time in forever she told me as I put some clothes on. I smiled to myself, excellent I had another woman reeled in. My phone rang again and it was Ayesha, she had given birth to a girl and had named it Mendy.
After excusing myself from my own house, I went to see Ayesha. After all the turmoil of pregnancy I gave her an amazing massage and feigned interest in the little bundle that was inside.
As soon as we were inside, I pulled Ayesha into her room, declaring that after seeing my first daughter I was crazy about having another one. She was surprised that I was so keen to rush into fatherhood, but this did not stop her and yet again she was under the covers. She had no suspicions of me, she thought I was a charming guy who wanted to start a family with her. How naive.
I left Ayesha to sleep and padded into the bathroom, I spied a nice pair of sinks and decided to swipe one, who needs two anyway?
I strolled into the living room and bumped into one of Ayesha's housemates. She was surprised to see a half-naked toned man wandering around but I think the surprise was a pleasant one for her. Ayesha turned up with the baby, I sensed a bit of jealousy from her as I chatted away with her friend, but did I care? Of course not, I had locked my eyes on my next lady.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Day Six: My Luck Was In

After getting up too late yesterday, today I woke early and helped myself to some cereal again. I needed a better stove, the one that the agency had so 'kindly' provided me was shockingly awful I was concerned that if I even attempted to cook anything in it, it would explode causing this wooden house to burn to the ground within seconds along with me in it...and that surprisingly is not how I plan on departing this world.
The swimming pool was a place I had not yet visisted so today was the day, and by the looks of things it seemed it was going to be a good day. As I lowered myself into the pool, out of the corner of my eye I could see I was being oggled at by a young lady further down the pool. Excellent I already had her attention.
I swam gently over to her and we got on well straight away, she seemed like the playful type and dared me to a competition as to who could hold their breath underwater for the longest. I obviously would have won, but women like to win and if you let them without them noticing they will like you more, it's fact. I left the lovely lady at the pool as I was getting hungry and headed over to the park.
Over at the park I noticed a woman I recognised sitting on her own at a picnic spot. It was Juanita who I met at the library previously. I asked to join her for lunch and enquired as to why such a lovely lady was on her own. This set her off, launching into how her husband had no time for her and how work was stressing her out. I sat there patiently letting her believe I cared and when she was done I politely offered her my number so if she ever wanted to 'talk to someone' I would always be there. She seemed to like that.
When Juanita left to go home to cook dinner for her husband, I glanced around and spied across the park a sad looking girl strolling through. Boy, was this a day for sad lonely women or what. I walked over to her and greeted her in a hilarious manner which made her smile. I asked what was wrong and she told me all about the arguments she had been having with her mother and father. I stood their yet again listening to some womans worries pretending to care when in fact I really didn't, but we all know sad, lonely women are the most easiest to charm. I successfully cheered her up with a number of compliments and flirtatious jokes and left her swooning over me with my phone number I had written on her hand for her as I headed home.
As the evening was warm I walked home through a nice neighbourhood. It all seemed to be too good to be true when I spotted a reliable car sitting all alone on someones driveway. I casually strolled over and quickly checked no-one was around and tried the door. My luck was in, the owner hadn't locked it! This neighbourhood was way too trusting, I hopped in and drove home in my new vehicle.

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Day Five: The Late Bird Does Not Catch The Worm

The phrase 'the early bird catches the worm' rung true in my head. After my late night at the Alvi's I had arisen late, resulting in most of the day gone. Instead of seeing this as a setback I went to the library to see if there were any avaliable books on improving the success of my natural charisma talent. In this career path you have to be the best and to be the best you have to constantly improve. As I neared the library steps the phrase wasn't the only thing ringing.

I answered my phone to a hysterical Ayesha, she annouced her 'surprise' pregnancy and how I was most definately the father. As I feigned interest into possible baby names I smiled to myself as my plan had finally been kickstarted.
It took me a while to stop Ayesha cooing over all the toys she had seen and what she wanted to buy the little baby, but eventually she ran out of things to say. I do not have much interest in my offspring they are simply a means of infiltrating this world. I hope you weren't thinking that I would play an active role in my childrens lives did you?
Finally after most of the day already gone, I entered the library and found a suitable book that would enable me to woo these women more quickly and successfully.
After leaving the library i strolled home on my way past the Alvi residence I noticed some tables and chairs and without further ado I took them.No surprise there ey! They look better in my house anyway. With Ayesha bearing my child, tomorrow i would find my next suitable woman.

Day Four: What A Success

I came to the conclusion that Ayesha was a safe bet, she laughed at every joke I told, swooned over me when I complimented her and most of all she utterly enjoyed the massage I gave her last time. I called her up and invited her over again to finish where we had left off, within minutes she was at my doorstep looking eager. I gave her an amorous hug and a quick kiss on her arrival she knew how I 'felt' for her. She mistook my affection for me falling in love with her...how wrong she was!
I invited her inside for a 'cuddle' on the bed. This was the best way to get women there I had discovered, the cuddle appeals to them as it makes you seem all emotional and sentimental. I put my arm round her and she smiled in a satisfied manner whilst I grinned smugly.
My theory was correct, Ayesha was like 'putty in my hands' and she sure enjoyed her visit round mine. As we relaxed on the bed and chatted afterwards, as women like to, my mind was elsewhere...this room was pretty bare in its furnishings...

As soon as I got rid of Ayesha I thought I would visit Iqbal whom I met the other night at the park. As I stood outside I noticed some party balloons, perhaps I was in luck and there was a party going on? In my book, parties meant women and plenty of distractions for people as to not notice me swiping things from under their noses.
Sadly as I was invited inside I discovered there was no party it was just a few teenagers lounging around doing their homework. There was a female but she was a tad too young for me, she was pretty though so I decided that when she grew up I would pay her a visit. The lack of party did not stop me from helping myself to Iqbal's bar to rustle up a quick drink.
I joined the teenage boys in the kitchen and thought it would be appropriate to compliment their home and all of its wonderful decor. I don't think they realised the true meaning of this, that in fact I would soon be taking this 'wonderful' decor and furnishing my own home with it.
After my drink and when I was sure the teenagers would not interrupt me I returned to the room with the bar in it and swiped a few items, the bar stool seemed comfy and I needed a few more lights for my house. After this I took a sharpish exit and returned home with my new items. What a successful day, a woman impregnated and swiped goods for my home!

Friday, 21 August 2009

Day Three: Night Time Is Good Time

I rose early and headed downtown to the gym. I was planning on having a quick work out but I was stopped in my tracks by a woman who introduced herself as Cornelia Goth. The women in this town could not help themsleves, every woman stopped and stared as I waltzed in, I don't blame them but they should be more careful because if I see you then, sooner or later, you will be my next...I can't say victim as that implies their unwilligness and that is what these women are most certainly not...so I will use the term 'subject'.
Upon leaving the gym, I introduced myself to a lonely looking lady outside the theatre. She seemed well-dressed a sure sign that she was quite possibly rich. I needed a new house to swipe from, the Sekemoto's furniture wasn't really that inspiring.
Later that evening I jumped into a taxi and visited central park. This taxi business was getting to me, I wanted my own car. However, charming the female taxi driver was a pleasant way to pass the short journey.
Central Park seemed pretty dead as it was rather late, but my training taught me not to rush into things. I did a quick once-over and sure enough there was one lone person still here, an older man by the pond fishing. At this rate I could have been there all night waiting for the desperate fisherman to leave so I felt that through my introduction it might make him realise that he really should be leaving as it was late. After a brief chat I discovered that this gentleman was Iqbal Alvi, a neighbour of mine. Excellent news, I would soon be paying old Iqbal a 'friendly' visit.
As soon as he left and after I quickly checked again that still there was no-one around I got down to some swiping. There wasn't much around but I managed to swipe a few more chairs for my house and a great big streetlight. As I made my way home in yet another taxi I planned my next day, what woman would I invite over? and would Iqbal soon have a little less furniture?

Thursday, 20 August 2009

Day Two: Marriage Seems Oddly Popular

When i awoke the next day I decided to test the undesirable bath, the water was freezing cold and the paint was chipping off, but it did give me time to think about my next move...
As I gleefully sat in dear old Yumi's lounge chair and had my breakfast I decided today I needed to broaden my horizons and meet a few more women, and if she was lucky i would give that woman i met at the political protest a call.
I decided to hit the library as many a time i have met an interesting lady at such a place, unfortunately there were only two women lingering around. The first was Juanita, my eyes twinkled as she told me of her career in the police force and how she was happily married. Another thing you should know about me is I like a challenge, and standing before my eyes was a great one.
The second woman i met was pretty little Meredith, she was also married. I pondered to myself whether i would find any single ladies in this town, if not the married men of Sunset Valley had best get prepared as an illegitimate child may be the next new household item. Now i don't want you thinking that i would let married women slip through the cracks. I do not care in the slightest about disrupting cosy family life.
I returned home with a feeling that this was just not moving fast enough, i rang the woman i met at the political protest and invited her over, obviously she agreed. She sure was talkative and took a little longer warming up than most other woman who have been graced by my presence. It took me the rest of the day to lure her into thinking that she was the only woman for me. Sadly she left and i was left with an empty bed for the night again...