After getting up too late yesterday, today I woke early and helped myself to some cereal again. I needed a better stove, the one that the agency had so 'kindly' provided me was shockingly awful I was concerned that if I even attempted to cook anything in it, it would explode causing this wooden house to burn to the ground within seconds along with me in it...and that surprisingly is not how I plan on departing this world.
The swimming pool was a place I had not yet visisted so today was the day, and by the looks of things it seemed it was going to be a good day. As I lowered myself into the pool, out of the corner of my eye I could see I was being oggled at by a young lady further down the pool. Excellent I already had her attention.
I swam gently over to her and we got on well straight away, she seemed like the playful type and dared me to a competition as to who could hold their breath underwater for the longest. I obviously would have won, but women like to win and if you let them without them noticing they will like you more, it's fact. I left the lovely lady at the pool as I was getting hungry and headed over to the park.
Over at the park I noticed a woman I recognised sitting on her own at a picnic spot. It was Juanita who I met at the library previously. I asked to join her for lunch and enquired as to why such a lovely lady was on her own. This set her off, launching into how her husband had no time for her and how work was stressing her out. I sat there patiently letting her believe I cared and when she was done I politely offered her my number so if she ever wanted to 'talk to someone' I would always be there. She seemed to like that.
When Juanita left to go home to cook dinner for her husband, I glanced around and spied across the park a sad looking girl strolling through. Boy, was this a day for sad lonely women or what. I walked over to her and greeted her in a hilarious manner which made her smile. I asked what was wrong and she told me all about the arguments she had been having with her mother and father. I stood their yet again listening to some womans worries pretending to care when in fact I really didn't, but we all know sad, lonely women are the most easiest to charm. I successfully cheered her up with a number of compliments and flirtatious jokes and left her swooning over me with my phone number I had written on her hand for her as I headed home.
As the evening was warm I walked home through a nice neighbourhood. It all seemed to be too good to be true when I spotted a reliable car sitting all alone on someones driveway. I casually strolled over and quickly checked no-one was around and tried the door. My luck was in, the owner hadn't locked it! This neighbourhood was way too trusting, I hopped in and drove home in my new vehicle.